1/27/26
My dearest Jazzy,
Sometimes when I think of you (very often), I regret not knowing you sooner. You know, when I was younger
I had the worst case of trypophobia—oh goodness, holes plagued me. And I don’t think that fear ever left me. I was often afraid of long pauses or uncomfortable silences, but with you it’s like even when you’re not talking or moving, you cover the holes I once felt unsure of. Oh my goodness, on the train, when there was a person begging for money, I felt compelled to remain still. I didn’t want to disrupt whatever force caused the almost seemingly everyday occurrence of someone begging for money, but you—while I laid on your chest—I felt you reaching in your pockets for money. I felt so overcome by warmth that I decided to dig into my own pockets and reach out for the few nickels and pennies I had left. I get so sad when I think about any time where you didn’t have friends completely and wholly obsessed who loved your entire being. I never want there to be a day where you feel small. I hope that you feel loved every time you’re with any one of us. I hope you never settle for the small inconveniences and the “I’m sorry, I forgot.” Obviously, life happens, but I know our friends, including myself, are the type of people to make your “I wants” realities.
I had the worst case of trypophobia—oh goodness, holes plagued me. And I don’t think that fear ever left me. I was often afraid of long pauses or uncomfortable silences, but with you it’s like even when you’re not talking or moving, you cover the holes I once felt unsure of. Oh my goodness, on the train, when there was a person begging for money, I felt compelled to remain still. I didn’t want to disrupt whatever force caused the almost seemingly everyday occurrence of someone begging for money, but you—while I laid on your chest—I felt you reaching in your pockets for money. I felt so overcome by warmth that I decided to dig into my own pockets and reach out for the few nickels and pennies I had left. I get so sad when I think about any time where you didn’t have friends completely and wholly obsessed who loved your entire being. I never want there to be a day where you feel small. I hope that you feel loved every time you’re with any one of us. I hope you never settle for the small inconveniences and the “I’m sorry, I forgot.” Obviously, life happens, but I know our friends, including myself, are the type of people to make your “I wants” realities.
9:32 PM:
You have really big chocolate eyes; they’re like pools of cocoa.
I have really bad trust issues. I don’t know where they come from,
but for some reason, when I stare into your eyes, I’m compelled
to believe
everything you say. Is this a gift from God (Jesus drop a like in the chat)
lollll.
You have really big chocolate eyes; they’re like pools of cocoa.
I have really bad trust issues. I don’t know where they come from,
but for some reason, when I stare into your eyes, I’m compelled
to believe
everything you say. Is this a gift from God (Jesus drop a like in the chat)
lollll.
9:32 PM:
01/28/26
You are absolutely beautiful! OMG, I don’t know if you saw me watching, but you were making your own snow pile, and you looked so determined and pretty, and it reminded me of how soft and capable you are. If only you knew how others see you.
01/28/26
You are absolutely beautiful! OMG, I don’t know if you saw me watching, but you were making your own snow pile, and you looked so determined and pretty, and it reminded me of how soft and capable you are. If only you knew how others see you.
I don’t know if you know this about me, but sometimes I get motion sickness SO bad. It’s SOO bad, and you know, I think everyone has their own type of sickness, whether it be of the brain or heart. Aligned with my physical sickness is emotional motion sickness, developing
extra sensitivity to mood and change, and oh my goodness is it especially bad with you
(bad in a good way). Do you remember our first argument? I was so confused because up until then I was so convinced that you and I were the last people to ever argue. But I am especially grateful for that conflict.
I remember seeing your angry words flash on my phone and just being so confused, and then when I called you, you picked
up the phone with a soft and angry voice. You know, like when a puppy bares its teeth to play tough? I never want you to feel like you have to be tough with me. I remember hearing your voice get more emotional as our conversation progressed. 9:37: You are the sweetest lion I know (do you remember the story I wrote for you? You were the lion). Oh my goodness, do you remember the days after school that we spent talking shit and eating pizza!!!! OH, I LOVE US!! We’re so
cute, bruh, heh. I love how you can listen to the same story 100 times and still care. Goodness, God must’ve spent so long making you.
I wonder if the angels surrounded you and gave you a kiss each time you blinked. You know how I joke around and say, “Oh, your body is so small and you have so many feelings.” Aweeee, you’re like a little Lego or a collectible. I don’t know if I will ever find someone like you again, and I don’t think I would ever want to.
God gave you to me once heh for obvious reasons!
extra sensitivity to mood and change, and oh my goodness is it especially bad with you
(bad in a good way). Do you remember our first argument? I was so confused because up until then I was so convinced that you and I were the last people to ever argue. But I am especially grateful for that conflict.
I remember seeing your angry words flash on my phone and just being so confused, and then when I called you, you picked
up the phone with a soft and angry voice. You know, like when a puppy bares its teeth to play tough? I never want you to feel like you have to be tough with me. I remember hearing your voice get more emotional as our conversation progressed. 9:37: You are the sweetest lion I know (do you remember the story I wrote for you? You were the lion). Oh my goodness, do you remember the days after school that we spent talking shit and eating pizza!!!! OH, I LOVE US!! We’re so
cute, bruh, heh. I love how you can listen to the same story 100 times and still care. Goodness, God must’ve spent so long making you.
I wonder if the angels surrounded you and gave you a kiss each time you blinked. You know how I joke around and say, “Oh, your body is so small and you have so many feelings.” Aweeee, you’re like a little Lego or a collectible. I don’t know if I will ever find someone like you again, and I don’t think I would ever want to.
God gave you to me once heh for obvious reasons!
1/30/26
you gave me food omg… bruh ur giving housewife vibes
I feel like I’m always friends with the super cool girl, like I’m her sidekick, never the main character… It never bothered me (I LIE), but when I’m with you, I don’t mind just adoring you with the rest of the background crew.
you gave me food omg… bruh ur giving housewife vibes
I feel like I’m always friends with the super cool girl, like I’m her sidekick, never the main character… It never bothered me (I LIE), but when I’m with you, I don’t mind just adoring you with the rest of the background crew.
I hate losing you in crowds or not being
able to see you when you move around,
even when you think I don’t see you, I promise
that I do—or at least that I try.
able to see you when you move around,
even when you think I don’t see you, I promise
that I do—or at least that I try.